When someone rates you a nine or ten, it usually indicates that he/she finds you attractive, at least to some extent. However, there are times when people add a "but" after the rating, indicating whatever they think would diminish the attractiveness they see in you. For instance, it might be something like “she’s a ten, but she adores fancy restaurants,” or “he’s a ten, but he wears a fanny pack,” or “he’s a nine, but he’s a mama’s boy.”
First Impressions and Adjustments
During the process of getting to know someone new, we tend to unconsciously assign them a number as an initial score, and then adjust this ranking by adding or subtracting points once we learn more about them, whether we appreciate those aspects or not.
A Cinematic Reflection: “10 Things I Hate About You”
This reminds me of a poem from the 90s rom-com 10 Things I Hate About You, starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles. The movie revolves around a bet that the high school bad boy Patrick (Ledger) makes to date the antisocial Kat (Stiles). Their interaction starts off unfriendly, but Patrick makes efforts to get closer to Kat. Though his motives are often rooted in financial gain, they gradually grow close and develop genuine feelings for each other. At the prom, Kat realizes that Patrick’s initial attempts to know her were driven by his interest in money, leaving her feeling hurt and humiliated. Later, they are assigned to rewrite one of Shakespeare’s sonnets for school. Kat seizes this opportunity and pens a heartrending piece about her emotions.
I hate the way you talk to me, And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare, I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, Not even close, Not even a little bit, Not even at all.
Love Despite the Flaws
Kat wrote about the things she often finds irritating in Patrick, yet in the last line, she admits that none of those things mattered. She liked him anyway. I feel like this reflects on all relationships. Regardless of where you are in a relationship, there will always be something that you don’t entirely like about the other person.
The Reality of Relationships
It’s easy to cling to the initial score you secretly gave when you first met and decrease it when you find out that he or she is a fan of an artist you specifically dislike. Nevertheless, it's always been beautiful to me that people often fall for someone, one way or another, even under circumstances where they have noticed every little thing they’re not necessarily fond of.
A Message to Lovebirds
So here’s to all the lovebirds out there, and I hope all of you had a good time spending the days with love, care, and happiness. There will be many more days to come, so have fun together — I recommend watching 10 Things I Hate About You — because what you have at this moment is special.
For the Singles
And for the single pringles who are ready to mingle, enjoy all kinds of holidays as well, whether you spend it alone or not. Embrace your solo life, because you are already enough. One day, you will find someone who thinks you are a ten, despite all the things you dislike about yourself.
(cover image from 10 Things I Hate about You via Culture Characteristic)
